| No Angel |
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Posted on December 09, 2006 @ 12:58 pm
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music |
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Stabbing Westward - Waking Up Beside You |
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i'm not your angel
i'm not your saint
i'm not a mistake
i'm not a regret
your disdain can't be hid
you know what, fuck you
you think i can't do it
you're wrong again
i'm not your failure
i'm not your charity
turn your head
because i won't change
i'm no angel
i'm no saint
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| Tick Tick |
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Posted on December 09, 2006 @ 12:26 pm
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tick tick tick
tick tick tick
can you hear it
can you hear it
the clock, it chimes
the clock, it chimes
an echo of life
an echo of life
time is running out
time is running out
what will you do
what will you do
the final sand falls
the final sand falls
so much left unfinished
so much left unfinished
tick tock tick tock
tick tock tick tock
say good bye
say good bye
embrace once more
embrace once more
what will you do
what will you do
when the clock chimes
when the clock chimes
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| Brought You Flowers |
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Posted on December 09, 2006 @ 11:51 am
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forgive and forget
how can i do that
you left me
you left us
watch me grow
watch me cry
are you watching me fuck
are you pointing and laughing
i brought you flowers
all of you
you left me
you left us
you were our glue
you held us together
we're in shambles
never will we be close again
forgive and forget
rejoice a new day
live life for you
because you aren't here
why
you've been taken so soon
you got to watch them grow
you were able to see their young
i was left
you left me
nothing is the same
no one cares
all these things
i've wanted to say for so long
years and years
pent up saddness
i've always wanted to say
i brought you flowers
all of you
even all this time
you're in my thoughts
i wonder if you see me
do you care
if i brought you flowers
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| Wilted with Regret |
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Posted on December 09, 2006 @ 11:42 am
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music |
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Angie Stone - Wish I Didn't Miss You |
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i want you
i need you
i love you
i loathe you
i want my life back
its all out of my reach
i prevent myself
day after day
little progress is made
yet it all fades away
i cry out for you
i curse your name
i push you away
i can't seem to let go
a shattered shell
memories taunt
small smiles
even after all these years
i can't let go
regret
remorse
relief
rejection
i'm at wits end
no one can change it
i want to go back
i need to make amends
what should have been said
i'll never have the chance
hatred
misery
joy
elated
knowing you're there
somewhere watching
you know the truth
even if i never said a word
hopefully i'll see you again
to make things right
i didn't hate you
i always loved you
i want to see you
i'll always miss you
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| Turn Away |
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Posted on November 06, 2006 @ 8:01 pm
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music |
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Blue October - Weight Of The World |
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 Desensitized and demoralized.
Desecrate and penetrate.
Denial and betrayal.
Death and breath.
Forgive and forget.
Move up and move on.
Hate me and forget me.
Turn away and stay away. |
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| Blood Runs Deep |
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Posted on November 06, 2006 @ 7:56 pm
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music |
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Him - Close to the Flame |
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 the blood runs deep
stealing moments of sanity
out of morbid curiosity
the wound still feels fresh
bang and bleed
bang and repent
bang and die
looking for a realization
i've found none
looking for resignation
there is none
bang and cry
bang and close
bang and die
blame me for all that is wrong
try and take away the pain
blame me for all that is right
try and keep the pain
the blood runs deep
stealing moments of life
out of morbid curiosity
the wound is still fresh |
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Posted on June 14, 2006 @ 11:18 pm
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Weeping Dragon
a weeping dragon
crouches before me
blood tears stream down
its boney forsaken face
solemnly his wings fold
covering his shame
claws once mighty
now enclose his misery
his once beautful world
is bloodstained and ruined
the last of his kind
so alone, so terribly alone
so here he sits sadly
basking in overwhelming pain
his world has crumbled
it is the end of his domain
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Posted on June 14, 2006 @ 11:12 pm
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Solaruim
Dark clouds hang overhead, covering the silvery moon. There issomething lingering in the air, something that I can't name. A horriblestench of rotting corpses and stale feces overwhelmed me. The areaseems so familiar, yet, so strange. The cobblestone reminded me of thewalkways in the old solarium, but it couldn't be. There was no way thatI'm back in that cold room. It's been years since the mansion was torndown, and the solarium with it. Where am I?
Faintwhispers echoed in my ears, calling me to walk further down the drive.The wind pushed against my back with urgency. How can this be? I think.How can this place exist? Am I dreaming? Curiosity gets the best of meand I follow the voices.
Dead rose bushes line the walk way.Fallen leaves and wilted flowers scattered among stones and branches.Oddly enough I feel so comfortable among a decaying landscape. Still, acold shiver runs throughout my entire body. I walk on.
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Posted on June 14, 2006 @ 11:09 pm
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Idle
there are times when I give in
and want to please you all
yet i know in my subconsious
it will never happen
you bring me down with your words
strangle me with the ignorance
depriving me of the amusement
i so desprately desire
wretched little creatures of habit
let go of the grip you have on me
stop stealing my creativity
tend to your own lives dammit
i'm not here to be your toy
its not that simple
you cant control me anymore
not that you ever could
my idle mind is frozen with ideas
yet the ambition is fleeting
there isn't enough things to say
that haven't been said before
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Posted on June 14, 2006 @ 11:07 pm
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Control
numbness takes over
the warmth that once resided
leaving a vacant hollow inside
a sign on the "door" reads "condemned"
what am I condemned to
a life of frozen hell
closed off from people
contained in a small cube
looking through the window
i see the light and can feel the warmth
but it never penetrates to the inside
of my cold confinement
trying to break the foggy window pane
harder and harder i beat on it with fists of rage
"let me out!" i cry
"let me feel the warmth and see the light!"
how i long to experience these things
out of control
not knowing love and its companions
hazy emotions blind me
clouding up my thoughts
intentions of harm fill my head
common sense forcing them away
battles forever taking place within my head
ripping my heart at the seams
life takes its turns
good bad and everything in between
taje ne biw dear kird
show me your kingdom of perpetual bliss
take me from the woes
that have embedded themselves in me
give me the strength to swallow
close my eyes and slip into the enternal slumber
allow me to be with those who's passed
let me join the heavenly games
let me be someone's angel
so i can protect them and guide them
no
dont take me
i must live
for people need me
grant me the power to deal
deal with all the burdens
i am faced with today, tomorrow and everyday
i need to stop loosing control
let me regain myself
and make me the girl i once was
allow me to be strong
never allow me to lose control
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Posted on June 14, 2006 @ 11:03 pm
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Scarce
scarce are the images of love
scarce are the pretenses of hope
scarce are the comforts of freedom
scarce are the words of wisdom
scarce are the touches of lust
scarce are the innocence of youth
i sit here and wonder
where has it all gone
where has time ran to
things were once so maneagable
but now they are almost
too unbearable to fathom
scarce are the memories of yesterday
scarce are the visions of a future
scarce are the dreams of normality
my train of thought isn't what is once was
my words are more like rambling
forgive the mess that barely resembles any thought
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| Lullaby |
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Posted on May 17, 2006 @ 11:37 pm
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 Gentle moon, shine down upon us
Guide us safely to the place we seek
Let me sing to you, a quaint lullaby
Softly the wind will blow
Caressing us in the a shroud
Don’t fret dear one, your fears are gone
Close your eyes, and drift away
I’ll keep watch over you
Drift away to the land of dreams
A land where everything is as it seems
Hurry along, the moon will keep you safe
Dearest one, you’re leaving me
Listen to me, as you float away
Remember, I sing with you in my heart
So please, don’t cry
Please don’t cry, when I sing this lullaby
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| Envy |
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Posted on April 23, 2006 @ 10:04 pm
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at the center of my being
envy took hold
i want what you have
i wanted to be that girl
the one to hold you close
the one to tell you its okay
i didnt think of it before
i wanted you more
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| Enough |
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Posted on April 22, 2006 @ 11:07 pm
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enough is enough
i'm done...
sick and tired
of this life
sick and tired
of you
boxed in
hopeless
i'm stuck
get me out
let
me
go
fuck you all
i give in
rip out my heart
tear it to shreds
i refuse
to feel anymore
loathing and misery
can't describe
how you make me feel
i don't want you
to convince me
i'm worth more
fuck you all
its done and over
you arent worth it
not anymore
fuck you all
i've had enough
sick and tired
of the lies
sick and tired
of you
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| Of The Draw |
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Posted on April 22, 2006 @ 10:56 pm
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an echoing heartbeat
resounds in my brain
alone in this place
dreams no long comfort
daily life bores
even the most content
an ongoing routine
spotted by seconds of bliss
abrupt ending
to a fairy tale story
nothing is certain
maybe its just luck of the draw
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| Reach Up |
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Posted on April 17, 2006 @ 8:36 pm
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reach up
grab the sun
reach up
grasp for life
reach up
reach for me
extend your hand
and take hold of mine
soon, it won't be there
you do what you feel is best
yet it always comes out wrong
you want to do what's right
in the end
it all comes to tragedy
tears are always shed
reach up
and take my hand
reach up
wipe away my tears
reach up
hold me tight
take heed in my words
words i can't express aloud
even though you'll never hear them
you're losing me
each day
a piece of me fades away
the yelling
the crying
i'm losing the fight
reach up
find the courage
reach up
use your voice
reach up
find yourself
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| Army Men |
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Posted on April 17, 2006 @ 1:03 am
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 emotions spinning out of control
slowly breaking down
tired of being alone and helpless
lost and totally confused
you go toward the kitchen
you put water on to make some tea
your mug sits on the counter
your legs, take you to the bathroom
your arms...
involuntarily opens the medicine cabinet
your eyes dart from bottle to bottle
until you find the magic sleeping pills
to your joy, the bottle is full
your legs take you back to the kitchen
the tea kettle, whistling loudly
however, you ignore it completely
your hands open the bottle and pour out the medicine
your fingers manipulate the white tablets
the formation, long straight rows
almost like hundreds of army men
wax paper lays over the "little soldiers"
trapped
the rolling pin squashes the soldiers
screams
you hear screams filled of pain, and horror
"Die you bastards! DIE!!" you scream
the soldiers, now reduced to a powder, lay there
with one clean sweep, they lay in a pile
just like the bodies of their victims
pity overwhelms you
you pour the fallen soldiers
into the watery grave
the water steams and bubbles
dissolving the powder almost instantly
in the distance, you hear gunfire
granades
bombs
snipers
you look around the kitchen
checking to see if it is clear
looking into your salvation
you smile and lift the mug to your lips
you swallow the mixture
your right frame of mind comes back
regret pours over your subconsious
you run to the bathroom
trying to bring the damning mix back up
its too late
darkness falls over you
you lay on the cool floor
your eyes close as you drift to sleep
Sleep Sweet my brave Army Man. |
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